• Let the mayhem begin!!!

    Epic matchups are going to happen. Magnum P.I. has a score to settle with Quigley Down Under. The Lollipop Guild is all up in the Oompa Loompa's grill. Uncle Ben is stinkin up Aunt Jemima's kitchen and she's not havin' any of it!!! Remember when my dad beat up your dad? Yeah ya do. Well, that was awesome (for me), but these showdowns will make that taste like weak sauce in comparison. Be ready, because it is gonna get ugly up in here!!!

Episode 2: Lord Vader vs. Lord Voldemort

Posted by spectre se7en On 10:52 PM 5 comments


The Scenario
Forget what you know about Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi (pasty old fossil in life support suit).  This version of Vader is Tall, Dark and Ruthless.  He's just finished his beatdown on the Jedi, proving that their soft, sensitive side of the force is no match for the power of the Darkside.  When he and Kenobi fought the first time, he was but an apprentice, now he is the Master...but there's one problem...There's a new Lord "V" in town who thinks he's the darkest of them all.  


Lord Voldemort, is Dark Wizard who can talk to SNAKES! Did anyone see Vader talking to that snake/worm thing in the trash compactor on the detention level of the Death Star?  Oh SNAP!  Voldemort is hell-bent on proving that his wizardry is more lethal and crafty than the dark side of the force.  Good old Voldey is the most talented wizard to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts and that's no joke.  Dumbledore said it himself.  He who shall not be named is ready to prove that some muggle with a laser sword and lame choke holds is no match for a wizard and his wand.


The Showdown Facts:
  • Vader is a master with a light saber, an extremely powerful weapon
  • Vader has command of the dark side of the force, which grants him the ability to physically harm and even kill an individual.  It also gives him the power to manipulate  the environment around him and control physical objects.
  • Vader's body is mostly cybernetically enhanced, which possibly gives him superior strength.  However, he also depends on these cybernetics to breath and stay alive.
  • Voldemort is possibly the most talented spellcaster in the magic world with the ability kill with the flick of his wand.
  • Voldemort has dispatched rmany a talented spellcaster. 
  • Voldemort can fly and teleport himself through magic
  • Voldemort could be more powerful in terms of magic vs. force, but is inferior to Vader as it relates to physical combat.
State your case for this Showdown and explain who you think will win this match and why.  The most convincing arguments for either side will help determine the outcome.



The Scenario
A group of 10 emo kids are fed up with life (big surprise).  Normally they would take their frustrations out on themselves with self-inflicted wounds, but not this time.  They want to pound something, and sure enough, the first thing they see is a mysterious woodsman made of Tin. Wearing a pair of their little sister's designer jeans, and armed with their older  ("he's such a stupid jock, gawwwd!!!!") brother's wooden baseball bat, they're ready to give the Tin Man a beatdown!

Enter, The Tin Man.  The Tin Man man has no heart at the moment.  He's got nothing to lose and he's a little frustrated with as well.  He often wonders why he's made of Tin?  Tin metal dents like a mother and rusts like no other.  On top of that, his maker gave him this ridiculous funnel hat that blows steam for no good reason, and metal bow tie that makes him look like a tool. The Tin Man takes out his Oil Can, lubes up his joints, grabs his axe and is ready to break something fragile and weak. Look what we have here! A group of emo boys with wooden bats.  PERFECT!

The Epic Showdown has begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The Showdown Facts:
  • Emo Kids are fragile both physically and emotionally.
  • Their I.D. says 16 yr. old Male but their weak arms say 10 year old girl.
  • Emo Kids outnumber the Tin Man, 10 to 1, but the 10 man has the strength of 10 Emo kids combined
  • The Tin Man has a powerful swing and a brutal axe, but he's a bit slow and clunky
  • The Tin Man dents easily
State your case for this Showdown and explain who you think will win this match and why.  The most convincing arguments for either side will help determine the outcome.

UPDATE: WINNER - TIN MAN!!!
 Your voices have been heard and the results are in. 

A couple of interesting arguments were made for both sides.  The first point: The Emo Kids getting emotional and crying tears which will rust the tin man.  Assuming they cry enough and the tears dry fast enough, this could have been devastating to the Tin Man.  However, Rhiannon's rebuttal to this argument was enough to make the Tin Man the winner. The amount of hair product used by Emo Kids, mixed with the moisture of their tears, would have provided more than enough lubrication for the Tin Man to keep him hacking and slashing through these frail little things.